How to Become a Footballer if you are from the United States

As you know, we have discussed the shortcomings of the American footballer with this outstanding post from a week or so ago. And this has generated a lot of response in the blogosphere and elsewhere, Many people stop The Phantom on the street (like United States captain Michael Bradley) and ask yours truly for solutions to how we can develop top-level football talent.

Well unlike a certain Presidential candidate, we're not here just to tell you what's wrong with America. We're here to tell you how to fix it. And to say that means we have some good news: you can be a top-level footballer hailing from the United States; which of course means that you do NOT play in this league - until you turn 35.

Of course, Europe is where the money is in football and The Guardian reported on three top-level pros from our land competing over there in this insightful piece. Let's meet them.

1. Mayowa Alli. Alli plays for Klaksvik in the Faroe Islands. Who knows how he is doing on the pitch but he is being paid well enough to enjoy the local delicacy - whale.

Said Alli: "Some people would say eating whale is barbaric but I learned to look at it from their perspective. I only had it once. I can’t give you a sophisticated review – but it was good."

To be fair, Alli is actually in the Faroe Islands on loan from Denmark's Vendsyssel. So here he is, a top-level footballer from the U.S.

2. Adan Coranado. We will coronate Coranado as the most creative United States player in Europe since he is at AZAL in Azerbaijan.

Said Coranado: "I went on Google and said: 'Where’s this place at?!' I saw it was under Turkey: 'Oh, it’s a little further out from home. It’s way over the pond.'"

He's actually a Mexican-American who was the subject of a local documentary. Unlike Alli, he bypassed college soccer in the States and turned pro - just like basketballers LeBron James and Kobe Bryant. And he's enjoying a similar happy ending with his blossoming European career in Azerbaijan.

3. Shaquell Moore. Known as 'Shaq' by IMOTGP and his close friends, Moore is a teenage success story playing in Spain. He did not get paid for his first five months playing for Huracan.

Said Moore: "It was bad but it was good. It helped me a lot. I know I’m able to tough it out even when I wanted to drop everything and go back home."

An FC Dallas youth product, Moore was spotted by Spanish scouts and the rest is history - in the making. The 19-year-old plays for Atletico Levante, the reserve team of Levante UD, the club that finished last in the Spanish top-flight last season and went to the Segunda Division. Moore is hoping to get on the first team and eventually lead them back to matchups with Real Madrid and Barcelona - something the Levante faithful expect.

Said Moore: "The (major) difference with the U.S. is the technical ability of the players. At home, the focus is on bigger players and who can run the fastest and be the most physical. Here, you can be physical but you also have to have a brain for the game and good technique. It’s more competitive because there are a lot of players and everyone is good. Even in the lower divisions."

Moore is correct that in the United States you don't need a brain for the game to play football. We wish him luck in Spain. He's one of a select few trail blazers looking to broaden their football horizons.

The ridiculous to the sublime: A new low for England

It's a banner week for football in England. Tottenham Hotspur won their Champions League tilt in Moscow.  The champions of England, Leicester City, have two wins in two tries in the competition. Arsenal, sans Olivier Giroud, have a winnable home game against FC Basel while Manchester City have yet to lose under the great Pep Guardiola as they travel to Glasgow to face once-mighty Celtic.

Of course, no one is England is talking about this or about Thursday's huge match at Old Trafford, where Manchester United look to maintain their unbeaten home mark against Ukrainian opposition. That's because, once again, England's national team has humiliated the country - this time without even taking the pitch.

Now people come up to The Phantom all the time on the street (like U.S. captain Michael Bradley) and accuse yours truly of being too hard on England.  Well the defense rests after Tuesday's utterly ridiculous announcement that England boss Sam Allardyce has been let go after one match in charge.

It is this blogger's opinion that maybe Allardyce - a victim of a sting operation by tabloid rag Daily Telegraph - didn't deserve to go. But does it really matter? We couldn't make sense of the whole situation and while his comments about Roy Hodgson and Gary Neville have drawn plenty of heat, his words about having to pay taxes only echo what every overpaid rich person in every Western nation claims.

In any case, this is proof that being England manager is the Impossible Job the nation claims it is and mostly because you can expect folly like this if you accept it. Not that we are into willy-nilly nationalism or patriotism but shouldn't publications - even hack operations like the Telegraph - not go after the manager of the national team?  The answer is yes but the reason it happens is not just because the tabloids are out of control but also because the culture in England has gone to the shitter to such an extent that the public deep down believes in such gutter muckraking. It's why Allardyce is bitching about his taxes and the idiots over there voted for Brexit. England - and its people - have struggled to take responsibility on many an occasion, resulting in a general distrust that creates an atmosphere of chaos. It's what they do. It's not surprising that an Englishman wrote the famous play Betrayal since the Brits have truly made that into an art - literally.

So where does England go from here? The truth is it doesn't matter for the "laughing stock of world football." Last year, Leicester shocked the world by winning the Premier League. From our vantage point, it will be a bigger shock if the next England manager doesn't wet himself.

Joe Enochs: The Inspiring Story of an American coach in Europe you have never heard of

Those of you familiar with the blog recall our insightful look at German-American coach David Wagner. His Huddersfield Town squad continues to lead the English Championship and is on course for promotion to face the big boys like Manchester United, Arsenal and West Bromwich Albion. That feature is part of our mission to educate the American public on U.S. coaches succeeding in Europe.

Well there's another American coach we'd like to spotlight today. He's successful in his own right, guiding his side to second place in the German third division. He's a Californian by the name of Joe Enochs - and you have never heard of him!

The Joe Enochs story is one of the most uniquely American soccer stories around. And it's a shame that so few people know it. Well that's what the IMOTGP is here to do. A college soccer player at little known Sacramento State, he got a call from a former teammate playing in one of Germany's lower leagues and made the trip over to play for counterculture club St. Pauli.

That's right, Mark Baena was playing for TuS Hoisdorf and gave Enochs a call to come to Germany. The rest has become American soccer lore. He joined St. Pauli's amateur squad and was offered a chance to play for the first team.

But Enochs turned it down and joined VfL Osnabruck. The struggling team near the Dutch border allowed Enochs to play for such German coaching luminaries like Michael Lorkowski and Jurgen Gelsdorf, and he lasted 12 seasons for the Lily Whites with an astounding  359 appearances. A captain with the club, Enochs was so beloved by the Osnabruck faithful that he received a testimonial match in front of the club's die-hard fans at the Osnatel Arena. 

Well this fairy-tale football story has come full circle now that Enochs has taken over as coach, a move he discussed in this wide-ranging interview. Enochs has dreamed of the idea of bringing his German expertise back to the United States to help us - unlike the current idiot in charge. Meanwhile, we'll be keeping an eye on the German third division as Enochs, who received one U.S. cap under the great Bruce Arena, tries to write another chapter to his amazing history.

Joe Enochs - an American football legend and a friend of IMOTGP!

Wednesday preview: Four major European cities see action in two clashes of titans!

There was some football action Tuesday but now it's time for the big boys to play. And these are some enticing domestic matchups in the top two leagues in the world, featuring four major European cities and four big clubs with big reputations. It doesn't get any better than this. Madrid. Barcelona. Munich. Berlin. Mouth-watering stuff, isn't it?  Let's look at Spain first with the contest that will cap this big night.

That's right, it's Spain's two biggest cities with Madrid and Barcelona represented. In one corner, you have the Champions League finalists from last season in Atletico Madrid while in another you have the reigning Spanish champions, Barcelona.  It's a late-night start at the Nou Camp that has caused the city of Barcelona to extend the Metro hours so supporters can get home.

Who can forget last season with the Atleti knocked out Barca from the Champions League, helping pave the way for Real Madrid to lift the coveted trophy.  The Blaugrana have not since this matchup features a contrast in styles, with Atleti content to see Barca maintain possession. 

Said Barca coach Luis Enrique: "They are still masters of the counter attack and set pieces. They’re candidates for every trophy, so we’ll have to get things right against them."

After two draws, Atletico have fired in nine goals in two routs to actually match Real for best goal differential at plus-9.  Adding to that figure is a challenge that Atletico is well aware of.

Said captain Diego Godin:  "Barcelona at home are a very tough opponent so we must give 120 percent effort - not only are they very strong in attack but also in their defence. We did things well in our opening two games but did not win, but we must believe in our efforts and direction."

The other storyline is how Neymar has been criticized for "taking the Mickey" (as the hated Brits say) during a weekend stroll at Leganes.  He won't have the chance to do so Wednesday against battle-tested Atletico.

One city is known for the world's best beer drinking festival. The other has been described by those in the know as "hip, vibrant and constantly evolving." It's Munich and Berlin and it's a true culture clash between Bavarian traditions and the cosmopolitan cool of the capital city.

On the pitch, this clash has been more one-sided with Bayern Munich losing once in the last 25 meetings with Hertha Berlin, and that was when Jurgen Klinsmann coached Bayern and brought in Landon Donovan as a substitute. Both those Bundesliga buffoons have been banished to toiling in anonymity in the United States.

There is reason to believe in Hertha this time despite our odd new slogan of "We Try. We Fail. We Win." We are off to our best start with a perfect record of three wins in three games to join Bayern on top of the table after Matchday 3. Its's the first time since 1963 that two Bundesliga clubs that have started with three wins will meet in the fourth match.  Carlo Ancelotti is treating this like a huge encounter, with Thomas Muller set to return to the side.

Sadly, our heroes from Hertha limp into town. Oft-injured defender John Brooks is out with a muscle problem while Vladimir Darida, reportedly targeted by Real Madrid, is out until 2017 after suffering ligament damage in Sunday's 2-0 win over Schalke. And Bayern is so dominant that some people in Germany want American NFL-style playoffs to determine a champion.

But it's football and anything can happen and if things go right, Hertha BSC may be on top of the Bundesliga after Wednesday night. In any case, four top cities have pride and honour at stake. Madrid. Barcelona. Munich. Berlin. What a time to be a football fan! Enjoy!

An IMOTGP Exclusive: The real reason why the U.S. will never conquer football!

We know we promised today's blog post would feature Pep Guardiola cursing and we will keep our promise at the end of this column. For now, we have a more important topic to discuss as to why the United States will struggle in football for the foreseeable future.

The IMOTGP was minding our own business Monday when we came across the fact that the second-most read story on the New York Times was not about Trump, Hillary or some American killing another American. Rather it was about football.

No, this story wasn't about United States superstar Christian Pulisic or Manchester United's spectacular failure under Jose Mournho or about Real Madrid's 2-0 victory at Espanyol or the fact that Sevilla became the first La Liga side in history this weekend to not start a single Spanish player. This story was about something more sinister, about injuries sustained by American youths playing football.

Over the last 25 years, as youth participation is on the rise, the rate of injuries has doubled. In 2014, approximately 2.2 percent of children between 7-17 sustained an injury that required a visit to the hospital.  That's a 74 percent increase from the 2004 figures, according to the esteemed medical journal Pediatrics.

There is no data as to why this is the case but the Times has its own theory:

While there is no way to know exactly why soccer appears to be getting more dangerous, parents and coaches share anecdotal reports of children being encouraged to play more aggressively and less-experienced referees who are hesitant to call fouls and eject players from the game.

We here at the IMOTGP have our own opinion, and it's based on watching your average MLS match. You have seen our reporting on how the great Andrea Pirlo complained about the league's roughhouse tactics.

Not only is Pirlo correct, the problem is even more rampant at inferior levels in the United States like the college game and youth game with maniacal parents urging Johnny and Jill to use force rather than skill to win the ball. One prominent youth coach, Mark Jaskolski, told this blog how parents are banned from watching the youth team he coaches practice on certain days (although the IMOTGP is always welcome!).

Which brings us to the problem of these overzealous parents, and how they hurt the development of the U.S. player. It's one thing to think your little girl can become a superstar at the highest level, since that's possible even though the minuscule salaries make this somewhat of a ridiculous career choice for women who want top dollar.

But to push young boys into winning unimportant youth tournaments is the height of folly. Because your son is not going to be a top-level pro - since the United States has produced so few. The best you can hope for is MLS. And don't take this idiot's advice that talent isn't important. Trust IMOTGP, your son really isn't that talented. 

What about a coveted college scholarship with the cost of education soaring by about as much as stock in Christian Pulisic?  Well actually, women get more football scholarships than men, who must fight for partial ones.

So there is no reason for lunatic parents to be pushing their children excessively in football. And football being an instinctual game, a child also needs valuable time to develop a football brain on his or her own by learning the game in unorganized settings. There's very little the coach of FC Winnetka can really do as far as nurturing a player who is truly talented.

As far as what the youth game should look like in the United States, it is the official opinion of the IMOTGP that all rough play should be taken out. American youths are already banned from heading the ball. Other rough stuff should also be harshly dealt with, and not just because of the injury risk. How else can our youth learn the technique and precision required to properly play the beautiful game? Certainly not by turning it into an NFL match! Certainly not by watching the MLS! We need to develop the technical ability of other top nations! So parents, it's your fault with your win-at-all costs mentality for a U-15 trophy.

There you have it, IMOTGP followers. Take this as a call to action. We must make youth football safer - after all, you don't see these kind of injury problems in proper footballing countries like Germany, Brazil and Italy. Our future as a footballing nation depends on it.

And oh yes, Guardiola saying the F word, here you go right at the beginning of this clip ...

This is 100% real, no dubbing etc.

Reporter: "Can you win the Quadruple"

Pep: "What the fuck" 😂 pic.twitter.com/kDp0JFTVmJ

— YourMCFC (@YourMCFC) September 18, 2016

CONCACAF shines in Germany in a wild weekend!

With the weekend wrapped up and some big mid-week matches upcoming, the IMOTGP would like to salute CONCACAF players for some tremendous performances in Germany. As you know, the blog has become popular in Mexico while also gaining traction with top players in Canada so we feel it is important to provide a recap of what goes on from a global perspective given our wide reach as a football humour blog.

First, you know him, you love him, Christian Pulisic struck yet again in a 6-0 thrashing with a left-footed goal in a beatdown of Darmstadt as part of a command performance ...

Meanwhile in Frankfurt, three CONCACAF studs had a major role in Eintracht's 2-1 win over Leverkusen. Mexican superstar Chicharito finally got his first Bundesliga goal with this tally ...

Chicharito equalized the match, but that only set the stage for more CONCACAF players to get involved. Mexican star Marco Fabian scored in the 79th minute to put the home side ahead before United States defender Timothy Chandler hauled down Julian Brandt in the box late in the match. Up stepped Chicharito to salvage a point but he pinged his penalty kick off the post as Leverkusen came up empty.

In other action, Alfredo Morales and Ingolstadt took a shock lead at Bayern Munich only to fall 3-1 at the Allianz Arena in a thrilling Bavarian derby.

On Saturday among U.S. strikers, Bobby Wood remained the only goal scorer this season for an awful Hamburger SV, which confirmed their status for the drop with a 4-0 home defeat to RB Leipzig. Wood received his first yellow card.

His club will be battling it out with Aron Johansson's rock-bottom Werder Bremen team, which fired the coach after a 4-1 loss to Fabian Johnson and Monchengladbach.  Johansson entered as a second-half substitute and was sent off for dissent for Bremen, who are at minus-10 in goal difference through three games. Johnson started and set up the game's first goal.

On Sunday, U.S. superstar John Brooks sat out with an adductor injury as Hertha Berlin remained perfect with a 2-0 victory over Schalke 04. Niklas Stark moved into central defence with Sebastian Langkamp in a virtuoso display that could make Brook's return to the team anything but certain so the situation bears watching.

These CONCACAF stars will be in action plenty this week with two games apiece for their clubs so we'll be on the watch for more heroics from our region's top footballers.

Tomorrow, we'll preview the mid-week action and show you Pep Guardiola saying a curse word live on the IMOTGP!

Has the MLS finally arrived? Football takes on football in America!

Now that it's September, the football world is in full swing with matches galore. You saw Friday there was a masterclass by Jurgen Klopp's Liverpool as they stormed into London and won at Stamford Bridge.

With a weekend featuring plenty of fixtures, what should a football fan watch? On Sunday, there's a showdown between Hertha Berlin and Schalke. But that's on cable TV.  The only option on regular TV is Saturday's Everton-Boro clash on NBC.

Or is that the case? Because FOX TV has engineered a masterstroke Sunday by pitting MLS up against American football's NFL in a bid for ratings.  Sure you won't see Christian Pulisic but you may see Landon Donovan, IMOTGP reader Michael Bradley or Sacha Kljestan in this historic Sunday sure to get sports radio in the U.S. talking. 

Here are the details. FOX has one American NFL football game. If that game on your channel is late, you get to watch the LA Galaxy take on Sporting Kansas City to lead you into the action. Many sports fans will be ready to tune into Los Angeles Rams' return to California will first get an eye of the star-studded Galaxy with 31 percent of the country seeing that match.

If your NFL game is early, well it's the preamble to a mouth-watering New York Red Bulls-Toronto FC clash right after. That sets up perfectly for those watching New York Giants to not change the channel after that game is completed with 68 percent of the country enjoying the New York-Toronto football rivalry. One percent won't see the MLS.

FOX executive Bill Wanker explains what to expect (OK his name is really Wanger but this was too easy):

"I think this is going to be a great event for MLS - it's the first time we've ever done this, and the first time in MLS' history where there's regionalized coverage surrounding NFL games. And I think it's going to get a lot of attention, and it's great for the fans.

"You're going to get nice lead-ins in markets like, for example, New York City - we have a New York Giants football game that's going to lead into the New York Red Bulls. So it's a way for us to get a lot of exposure to MLS and it should be one of the top regular season games in a long time for MLS in terms of audience figures."

This is a game changer since the NFL is on the run after it was sacked in the ratings earlier this week.  American football has an optics problem with concussions, domestic violence and murder shadowing its murky world, with one player not even standing for the national anthem these days.

The MLS is responding with two, that's right TWO, national anthems Sunday in the New York-Toronto clash in an obvious slap in the face to the anthem antics by the NFL. Even more than that, it's time for the MLS to take a bite out of the NFL where it hurts - through its sponsors. This weekend represents a chance for football to finally take on football and you, the viewer, can help make change. The IMOTGP blog applauds the MLS for this bold move.

Christ Almighty: Christian and Cristiano steal the Champions League show

It's been a riveting start to the Champions League group stage and Wednesday's action featured Group F matches between Borussia Dortmund and Legia Warsaw and defending champion Real Madrid and Sporting Lisbon.

The world had its eye on these matches first because Dortmund's master plan of United States superstar Christian Pulisic has finally come into focus. Coach Thomas Tuchel looks like he is using the youngster exclusively for the Champions League since the kid has yet to see action in the hard-nosed Bundesliga - a league in which Bayern Munich and Hertha Berlin currently sit stop the table with perfect records. Clearly teams like Bayern and Hertha are a cut above the teenager, who will instead get opportunities against lesser lights in Warsaw, Madrid and Lisbon.

And that's what Pulisic did as Dortmund ran riot in Poland with a 6-0 rout, proving they were in a 'Legia' of their own. Pulisic made his presence felt with a huge assist on this key goal by Gonzalo Castro that made it 5-0 in the 76th minute and snuffed out any notions of a four-goal Warsaw comeback ...

While Dortmund coasted to the three points, they were joined atop the table by Madrid in dramatic fashion.  Sporting Lisbon led for almost the entire second half until Cristiano Ronaldo did this in the 89th minute:

Ronaldo's equalizer was followed by Alvaro Morata's winner in stoppage time in a pulsating 2-1 victory. If you notice the glum look on the face of the classy Ronaldo, that's because he was playing against the club with which he began his professional career. The best player in the world said in the build-up how emotional the game would be because he joined Lisbon as a teenager after leaving his boyhood island home of Madeira. It's a touching story of Madeira to Madrid.

The 31-year-old Ronaldo is no longer a teenager, a distinction that now belongs to Pulisic, whose touching story of going from Hershey, PA to Dortmund has thrilled the world. These two superstars are set to meet for the first time on the next Matchday in Group F, clearly an historic occasion for both Cristiano and Christian. One is the best player in the game as of now while the other may soon hold that title as well, having already secured his status as the best United States player in history. Pulisic received rave reviews for his performance in Poland.  

.@cpulisic_10, what was it like to walk on the pitch and hear the Champions League hymn? Mehr 📺? BVB total! #legbvb pic.twitter.com/3wvD5EyPb6

— Borussia Dortmund (@BVB) September 15, 2016

So mark down Sept. 27 on your calendar for this extraordinary Critiano vs. Christian showdown after both starred on Matchday 1 with late heroics. And remember, Ronaldo may be European champion but he has yet to prove that he can beat someone from the States on the world stage.

OTHER NEWS: As die-hard football fans know, the other Champions League, the CONCACAF version also took place Wednesday. Costa Rican club Saprissa defeated Portland of the MLS by a 4-2 score. Portland is now close to crashing out out of the competition while Sporting Kansas City already has. 

FC Barcelona Announce Support for North Carolina's Anti-LGBT Law

mes que un club!

Later today it's the start of the Champions League group stage and one mouth-watering tie features the champions of Spain, Barcelona, facing the champions of Scotland, Celtic.  It's a matchup of former European champions that has been hotly contested in the past.  It has also become more intriguing after the Blaugranas' shock 2-1 loss to Alaves over the weekend.

Manager Luis Enrique rotated the squad for that defeat at the Nou Camp in order to focus on mighty Celtic in a questionable move since that lack of focus could be enough of a slip-up to cause Barca to lose the newly named Liga Santander title. (Meanwhile, did you notice that Valencia and Celta de Vigo each have 0 points through three rounds?)

Speaking of focus, the club had other things on their mind Monday than the visit of Brendan Rodgers' men. Namely, the announcement that Barcelona will open a second academy in the United States - this one in Charlotte, North Carolina.

The news came on the same day that the NCAA removed seven championship events from North Carolina due to its anti-LGBT "Bathroom Bill." This is a serious blow to the state that counts Vince McMahon, evangelical superstar Billy Graham and the dad from hit sitcom 'Family Matters' among its notable natives.

Clearly, North Carolina was in an uproar about this decision and the state's Republican party went nuts over the news. Luckily, Barcelona came to the rescue with the announcement of the youth academy serving as tacit support for the Bathroom Bill. Why else would they pick this day to announce this and why pick North Carolina out of all 50 states for an academy?

We salute Barcelona for their support of North Carolina's anti-LGBT law, once again proving they are "more than a club."

The IMOTGP Stupid Play of the Weekend - aka the MLS

Chicago Fire fans. I have literally nothing to say to you right now. 2-0 Toronto. pic.twitter.com/bE0UMJgzIa

— Total MLS (@TotalMLS) September 11, 2016

IMOTGP exclusive: A Chance Encounter with a Pulisic teammate!

He plays with Pulisic!

As the owner of one of the world's foremost football humour blogs, you loyal readers are well aware that The Phantom often gets texts and emails soliciting his opinions on world football. Just this week, one rabid fan texted us with the news that Landon Donovan was returning to MLS. Of course, The Phantom was busy reporting that story by checking our IMOTGP West Coast sources.

One of the advantages in living in a country in which football is a niche sport is that The Phantom can walk down the street in anonymity, something IMOTGP doesn't take for granted since we would be besieged with autograph requests if we lived in a Brazil or Germany.  But sometimes even The Phantom gets recognized, and it resulted in the picture above - which is the product of an interesting story.

Truth be told, the IMOTGP blog is a bit drunk at the moment so this story may not have happened exactly this way. But this is how we recall it to the best of our memory.  The Phantom was minding his own business walking down the street when United States captain Michael Bradley walked by and the following conversation ensued. We think.

Bradley: Hey wait, are you the guy running the IMOTGP blog?

Phantom:  Scusi, chi sei? (momentarily forgetting that Bradley also speaks Italian from his days in Serie A)

Bradley: Che cosa? Sono un Americano, Il Fantasma!

Phantom: OK, you got me Michael. Great to see you after that performance the other night by Christian Pulisic. What's up, you been reading the blog?

Bradley: Yeah, the IMOTGP is big in Canada ever since you went to Mexico City to see that Mexico-Canada game.  But what's up with you not mentioning me at all in the latest Pulisic piece. You know, I played in that game too. And can I get a selfie with you for the guys?  They don't believe you exist after that trip to Azteca.

Phantom: Sorry I don't do selfies, man. No autographs, either.

Bradley (takes Phantom's phone): I don't believe you, what kind of blogger are you? Let me see your phone.

Bradley proceeds to press some buttons, messes up the phone and gets confused before giving up. We take the phone back.

Phantom: So Michael, why don't I take a photo of you for the blog? I'd rather have another shot of Pulisic but since you're here ...

Bradley: I'm sick of this Pulisic shit! The kid has played like two games for us and started maybe once in the Bundesliga. Hell, I have started more Bundesliga games than him and played in Italy and the Netherlands. And I hate Justin Bieber! You and the Twitterverse have got to stop stroking him!

Phantom (takes picture): Sorry, Mike, it's about pageviews so we gotta post more on Pulisic. Don't worry, I'll work him into this one. Thanks!

Match of the Week: Teenage sensation takes Bundesliga by storm!

Here at IMOTGP we are shameless about pumping up young players and this week provides no exception with the much-anticipated matchup between Borussia Dortmund and RB Leipzig, although Dortmund fans aren't too thrilled with it. 

As you all know, there's a teenage sensation ready to take the pitch in this huge Bundesliga game. He's been dubbed as one of the greatest youngsters ever to hail from his country, which is not known for producing too many vintage footballers in recent years. He's been linked to big-money clubs in world football, clubs that seem to be well within his destiny.

Just a few days ago, he made his first start for his national team in a World Cup qualifier in a four-goal demolition of a hapless island opponent with a performance that sent his country's fan base into raptures thanks to his penetrating runs. Best of all, this teenager doesn't hail from a continental Europe powerhouse country like Spain, Germany or France. Rather, he speaks English like you and me and you can watch him in this weekend's Dortmund-Leipzig showdown.

The world's top young talent!

It should be obvious by now that we are talking about none other than Oliver Burke, who will make his Bundesliga debut tomorrow in Leipzig. After all, who else would we be talking about? The Scottish midfielder has been compared to Gareth Bale and he's the most expensive footballer in Scotland's history. He's only the eighth Scotsman to play in the Bundesliga and this is his IMOTGP debut.

On Sunday, Burke earned his third cap in his first start as Scotland thrashed Malta 5-1 in a World Cup qualifier. It's the latest success on the pitch for a player who went through Nottingham Forest's academy and has been linked to Bayern Munich and Manchester United.

Burke will wear the No. 19 jersey to match his age although he is mature well beyond those years and should settle in nicely at RB Leipzig. There's even more pressure on him to develop into a star for Scotland, who haven't reached a major tournament since the 1998 World Cup with many believing 2018 in Russia could the year to end that drought.

In all reality, it's Oliver Burke's world and the rest of us are just fortunate to be living in it. With that in mind, the IMOTGP salutes Burke as the best young talent the Bundesliga has to offer!

LD: I'm the man up in this piece! (Warning for graphic language)

Not so fast, my friends!

It's been a banner week for football in the U.S. with the great one himself, Christian Pulisic, setting Twitter on fire with a performance for the ages. It's clear that Pulisic is on pace to become the greatest American footballer ever and everyone knows it.

Apparently, everyone includes the current title-holder himself in Landon Donovan and he may not be too happy to hear about the buzz for the precocious teenager and Justin Bieber devotee. That's why Donovan has made a statement we at IMOTGP can only compare to the words spoken by one Denzel Washington in the clip below that comes straight out of Hollywood. Fast forward to 3:46 and enjoy cinematic greatness ...

Denzel: "I'm the man up in this piece! ... Who the fuck do you think you're fuckin' with? ... I run shit here. You just live here! ... King Kong ain't got shit on me!"

Well that same script applies to Donovan with his stunning announcement that he is ready to come back to LA Galaxy.  Because he's the man up in this piece we call U.S. soccer. Because no one fucks with LD's legacy as that. Because he runs shit in football in the United States, the rest of us (including Pulisic and your humble blogger) just live here. Because King Kong (or Kid Kong in the case of Pulisic) can't play football the way Donovan can.

Let's analyze the situation further. It's true that Donovan no doubt saw the potential the U.S. team has after Tuesday's beatdown of TNT and saw himself flourishing alongside an actual talented lineup. Make no bones about it, Donovan wants a piece of Russia and 2018 - it burns in him that he didn't make the trip to Brazil for his fourth straight World Cup. He's ready to silence the doubters once and for all, put a halt to hype created by the Pulisic jersey-wearing hipsters born in the 21st century and lead us to glory in a once-proud country that is fading from relevance.

Sure there's an idiot U.S. head coach to contend with in all of this but make no mistake about it, Landon Donovan is the man up in this piece!

Mark this date down: Pulisic explodes the Twitterverse!

As you know, social media is the craze now for the younger generation and the IMOTGP blog is 100 percent down with that. This blog is known for having the pulse of the youths, much like this famous clip below:

Anyway we know the importance of relating to the younger generation, meaning the teeny-boppers out there with their Instagram, Snapchat, Tinder and I-Sex. The kids out there love them some Christian Pulisic, who demonstrated his solidarity with his generation by self-identifying as a Belieber in this wide-ranging interview. (GLOSSARY for those over 40: Belieber = Justin Bieber fan; Bieber is a performer/celebrity millennials all love)

The teenager finally made his first U.S. start Tuesday night, something the U.S. soccer fan has been clamoring for and he made it count or in the words of Beliebers, the kid was lit! He did everything but score in a 4-0 rout of Trinidad & Tobago that sets up the U.S. nicely in their quest for the World Cup.  The U.S., incidentally, is the only nation to beat four countries during this cycle by knocking off St. Vincent, Grenadines, Trinidad and Tobago - all in the space of two matches.

But we digress since the man of the moment is Pulisic (although Jozy Altidore was your Budweiser Man of the Match). Twitter promptly imploded with every mesmerizing feint, touch or pass by the wunderkind. We have culled a few sample tweets from one of the more memorable nights in U.S. football history.

PULISIC IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING LEGEND

— Kevin Hall (@TheHallWay1) September 7, 2016

Is a Pulisic tattoo premature? Asking for a friend. #USMNT #USAvTRI

— Cory Jensson (@coryhjensen) September 7, 2016

Pulisic, man. Dare I put my hope in him? There have been so many pretenders.

— Chubby Northerner (@SonOfCrunch) September 7, 2016

Pulisic is 17 y/o playing for USA... Im 17 sitting my ass at homing watching a 17 y/o play professional for USA...

— Thiago (@Tyagoat) September 7, 2016

Hershey, Penn. home to world-famous Christian Pulisic.

And some chocolate company. #IMOTGP

— Short Lawyer Person (@ShortLawyer) September 7, 2016

Dawg. Sacha and Pulisic >>>>>>> Ronaldo and Bale

— Bobby GINdal (@YAMANSDOOD) September 7, 2016

Christian Pulisic is going to be the greatest soccer player of all time. That's just a fact.

— Caleb Turrentine (@CalebTurrentine) September 7, 2016

if Pulisic can make Altidore look this good I regret that Liverpool have already sold Balotelli and Benteke

— öh yoü beaüty (@natefc) September 7, 2016

Pulisic is used to delivering that ball to Auba. Shame he's got Jozy "Concrete" Altidore waiting on him.

— @boneystarks (@BoneyStarks) September 7, 2016

Under Armour should just go ahead and sign Pulisic now on a lifetime contract. #USMNT

— Johnny Ballgame (@JHoskins17) September 7, 2016

Pulisic not rated a 99 in #FIFA17 ? Y'all can keep your game @EASPORTSFIFA

— Brino (@Javi_Sobrino62) September 7, 2016

Messi is just the Argentinian Pulisic

— Brock the Gym Leader (@TheErikTurner) September 7, 2016

Pulisic is the US version of Luke Skywalker

— juancito (@AdoboJuan) September 7, 2016

Even this non-U.S. fan had to get into the act with Twitter going nuts ...

Might actually start fucking with the #USMNT.. They starting to get players that I like. Pulisic looks legit.

— Kodak Ugonna (@DisKidStaysFly) September 7, 2016

Finally we'll leave it to @zross12 to sum things up about the coaching genius who finally got the lineup right, thus proving that the U.S. fan who "lacks knowledge" about the game unlike sophisticated Europeans could actually coach the team ....

JK: "Who knew Pulisic was this good?"      
                                                     Everyone: /raises hand

— Zachary Ross (@zross12) September 7, 2016

Klinsmann explained that it was his timing to finally start the kid that created the circumstances for the great effort. Said Klinsmann: "As we've said over the last few months, one step at a time, but the step was right today. We watch every training session."

There you have it - confirmation that the coach and his crack staff watch every training session. How dare any of you out there criticize the lineup even though U.S. fans everywhere would put together a better one?

Those of you who want to catch the next game for Pulisic can head to Leipzig on Saturday to see RB "don't call us Red Bull" Leipzig take on Borussia Dortmund.  For those of you who can't make the trip to Saxony, you can tune in on FS2 or keep it here on the IMOTGP for all the match coverage, with Pulisic likely to get in as a late substitute.

Another dumb idea courtesy of England!

Courtesy of the English Premier League do we have one of the dumbest ideas ever.  And give credit to one of the more useless football clubs in the world to come up with the idea, that being Tottenham Hotspur.  Don't believe Spurs are useless? Look up Tottenham Hotspur in Urban Dictionary and see for yourself. Although their definition is a little old since ol' 'Arry isn't the manager anymore, you get the point.

With their new stadium nearly built, Spurs want to play a game of football and American football at their ground on the same day. Credit chairman Daniel Levy with this ludicrous idea. Said Levy:  "I don't think it's something we'd want to try our first game, but that is certainly realistic. How exciting the idea of having the two biggest leagues in the world from a television perspective -- fantastic! -- play on the same day."

Unfortunately, it is likely that this stupidity will come to pass. Spurs and the United States' NFL have a 10-year agreement and who knows what else these entities representing everything wrong with professional sport have agreed upon. Maybe next time they can make it a triple-header and throw in a T20 India v. England matchup and really have some fun then with billions of people tuning in!

This will make the amount of London venues used for NFL to three. Previously, only Wembley Stadium had hosted American football but this year, rugby's Twickenham will host a fixture pitting New York Giants and Los Angeles Rams. Although those are two major American markets full of vacuous celebrities and millionaires, neither New York nor Los Angeles are fancied as Super Bowl contenders this year. That level of play should be familiar to Tottenham supporters used to years of not contending who are unfamiliar with the NFL game.

Ed's note: We'll be back later in the week with our first Christian Pulisic post of the new Bundesliga season!